Kill Everyone
by Inyoface
Summary: Hiro's life hasn't been all that jolly for the past couple of years. Accompaning a chronic depression is a misanthrophy and the urge to kill either everyone around him or himself. But would he ever have the guts? Written for the Kill Everyone -promt


**-****Kill Everyone****- **

**by Inyoface**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade.**

**This oneshot is dedicated to all the other writers who are participating in the 'Kill Everyone' prompt. It's a little fic starring Hiro. It's about depression and suicide and yes, it involves character death. I hope you'll like and enjoy it. **

**xxx - xxx - xxx**

I started the new year off with an orgasm. I'm serious, I precisely ejaculated the moment the clock struck 12.

I sighed.

'Happy new year, Hiro.', I muttered.

'Oh thanks happy new year to you too, Hiro.' I replied mockingly.

Yes, I know, talking to yourself is pathetic, but so is spending new years eve watching crappy porn and jerking off. And that's what I'd done. It wasn't even that I was horny or anything, in fact the porn didn't even turn me on that much. I could've jerked off to Barney the Dinosaur for that matter. It was more about me not knowing what else to do. I sighed once again. I figured that maybe I should start cleaning the mess up, I was halfway done with pulling off the bed sheets when I registered that since this was a hotel it was the cleaning lady's job. I glanced back at the alarm clock. 00:02. Yuck, only 2 minutes had passed. I'd only lived in 2011 for 2 minutes and it already felt as shitty as 2010. I felt that I should do something, as it was new years eve after all. For a few seconds I contemplated whether I should go down to the hotel's bar. I decided against it. It would be filled with mushy couples and happy families. I really wasn't in the mood to have hyper fucks running around me. I was also considering whether I should call for a prostitute. But I decided against that as well. It would've been to much effort. So instead I ended up watching this corny Christmas family film. I hated family films, they were always about people fighting and then, in the end they would all miraculously get along. I'd always find myself thinking, 'as if!'. Why would they suddenly stop fighting forever, after having done it for the entirety of the film. I bet that only one day later, they would start quarrelling again and everything would be as it was before.

Plus family movies would force me to think of my own family. My family was the reason I was stuck in this shitty hotel in Singapore on New Years eve. I was on the way to visit them. I had told them that there were no more tickets available for a flight that would arrive in Japan before New years eve, which was why I had to book a transit flight that would arrive there a day after. It had been a lie. To be perfectly honest, I didn't feel like seeing my family. Especially not on days as corny as holidays. It's not like they'd actually done anything that might have hurt my feelings in anyway, I guess I was just an asshole. Whenever I was around my family, I felt an urge to kill. Either to kill everyone, or just myself. Knowing what a egoistical person I am I'm afraid my choice would be to kill everyone. So come to think about it, I probably did them a favour by staying away.

The film was boring me excessively and I started to feel so sickly jealous of the couple next door to me that were fucking their brains out. They certainly were screamers! So I decided to turn off the TV and jerked off to the woman's moans until I fell asleep.

xxx - xxx - xxx

My flight was the next day. At 9:45 in the morning to be exact. We didn't take off until 10:20 of course, planes never take off on time. But I wasn't too concerned about the plane trip or being on schedule. It was something else that actually managed to grab my attention, and to keep it peaked for a little while. It was the flight attendant. Standing there with a wide, fake smile, wishing us a jolly good flight was none other than Kai Hiwatari. Kai had been one of my brother's team mates not too long ago. I had trained him myself at some point. He hadn't liked me much. I could feel nostalgia creeping up on me. I was never a very nostalgic person, but my life hadn't ever been this shit, so I felt I had every right to nostalgia. It didn't feel like it had been that long, counting down the years I concluded it had been five. Five years, that was more than I had expected. I guess the time passed faster the older I got. How depressing. Talking about depressing, Kai didn't appear all that happy in his role either. I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten him into becoming a flight attendant. As far as I could recall he wasn't exactly a very social person.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Kai was mortified when he saw me. He had been serving me my lunch of fish with beans when I greeted him with a simple 'How have you been all those years?'. He didn't say much in reply. He just nodded and told me he had been well. Then he continued with his duty. I wasn't quite that sure if he didn't care much for the past or if he was too embarrassed to hold a longer conversation with me. I had surely expected him to react more berserk. I shrugged it off and focused on my lunch. It had been five years, what did it even matter?

xxx - xxx - xxx

He came by a couple of times, asking if anyone wanted a drink, collecting the garbage, etc. He gave me an intense glare every time he'd have to talk to me. I ignored it. I decided to put this off as a coincidence. Maybe we would meet again on a flight. Maybe not. And after the plane had landed and I walked off to the baggage claim area I was convinced I wouldn't see him again. Oh how wrong I was. I met him in the arrival area, he was standing in front of me in the line of a little convenience store, getting a coke.

'Hello Kai.' I greeted him.

'Hello Hiro.' he said in return.

I noticed that even though five years had passed, he didn't look all that different. Sure, his facial features were a bit more mature and his hair a lot tidier. But apart from that,… nothing.

'I never expected to see you of all the people as a flight attendant.'

He nodded. 'Neither did I.'

We were both silent for a moment.

'It meant to only be temporary. I was planning on getting enough money together to become a pilot. It's a lot easier once you're in the airline business. But I guess I got too comfortable. I didn't feel the urge to put any more effort into it.'

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised at his confession. I didn't expect him to tell me about such a private matter. This was Kai after all, but I guess we all changed over the course of the last years.

'That's what you were burning to know wasn't it?' Kai snickered.

'It was.'

There was another moment of awkwardness until I decided to fulfil my part of our silent agreement.

'I'm unemployed. I have been for the past two years, give or take a few months, I'm too lazy to count. It wasn't like I did a bad job or anything. They closed down my department and fired everyone. I attempted to find work at a different agency, but after a couple of months I gave up. I guess I've just been lazy and detached ever since.'

Kai nodded.

It was his turn at the counter, he paid the money, received his coke, then walked off.

He didn't get far.

He suddenly turned around.

'Come to my place.'

I did.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Kai's place wasn't big or anything. It was small but not crammed. He didn't own a lot of stuff. I got comfortable on the sofa and turned on the TV. There was a sitcom on, I don't remember which one, they're all the same anyways. Soon Kai came to join, he carried a little pill box. He opened it up to reveal a small amount of grass packed in a zip lock bag. We each rolled ourselves a joint and started smoking. We didn't get high and crazy or anything like that. It would take a lot more than just one joint to get me stoned. Not much happened really. I just felt slightly more detached from the world as usual. It was a nice feeling, I guess.

'I just wanna kill everyone.' I confessed. 'Either that or kill myself. That's how I have become, depressed, lonely, hating everyone and everything around me.'

'You wouldn't have the guts.' Kai stated.

I gave him an estranged look. There was no doubt or weakness in his expression. He had meant what he'd said and he was fully convinced of it. Suddenly a certain sadness crept up me. Maybe he was right. So far I'd felt confident I would have the guts to take my own or somebody else's life, but why was I so careful then, why was I still looking to the left and to the right when I crossed the street, why was I so opposed to trying bungee jumping or free-style mountain climbing. Kai was right, I was scared, scared of life and scared to take life away.

'I feel the same.' Kai confessed. 'I have thought about snuffing it, multiple times. I can't. Sometimes I think about going to a hospital, or some busy public place, and cut my wrists in the bathroom, in such a location someone would find me within minutes at the latest, and I would survive. But even with the odds in my favour, I am too afraid to take any chances as I might actually end up dying.'

I put the joint to my lips and inhaled deeply. I could feel the harsh smoke scratching at the back of my throat and creeping down my air pipe. I stretched out my arm and stared long and extensively down at my wrist. In my mind, imagined the sweet and final pain of a blade penetrating my luscious, young flesh. The beautiful red blood oozing out of the cut, slowly but at a continuous pace. I imagined how my mind got weaker and weaker the more time passed, until I was at the verge of consciousness, and then…

Darkness.

'Kai.' I heard myself mutter. I hadn't even registered any intention of saying that name. 'If I were to snuff it tonight, would you drive me to the hospital and make sure I would survive.'

There was a pause, then Kai confirmed it. 'I would.'

xxx - xxx - xxx

The whole ordeal wasn't as glorious as I had imagined. Kai convinced me to do it in the bathtub, that way it would be easier for him to clean. There was also the fact that he, at first couldn't find any clean razor blades, so I had to unpack my suitcase to get my own out. I cut my fingertips while holding it, it felt a bit like paper cuts, and it wasn't stimulating at all. I sat down in the bathtub, I was first contemplating weather I should get out of my clothes, so that I wouldn't stain them but I decided against it, I wanted to keep as much of the feeling of finality as possible.

'Are you ready?' I asked Kai. It was less of a question and more of a urge for a signal or something symbolising me to start it already.

Kai nodded.

So I took the blade and held it close to my skin, almost touching it.

'One, two…' I closed my eyes. '…three.'

There was no pain at first, but milliseconds later it was more intense and real than I ever imagined. I opened my eyes and almost felt nauseous when I looked at all the blood creeping out. At first there was the pain, only the pain, and then, after a while, I started to feel more light headed, my vision got blurry and it was harder to keep my eyes open.

'Kai, now is the time, call an ambulance.'

But he didn't move from the spot.

'Kai, call an ambulance.' I repeated.

He started laughing. 'No Hiro.'

His laugh was the last thing I registered before I slurred into unconsciousness.

xxx - xxx - xxx

I survived it of course, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to tell this story. I woke up in a hospital and the first thing I saw were Tyson's worried eyes. Oh what a cliché, waking up in a hospital, being surrounded by ones family, didn't that only happen in films? Well in that moment my life was a cliché and I guess I somewhat appreciated that.

'Oh Hiro.' Tyson cried. I felt his chest pressing against my body as he glomped me. He was crying for a bit, not saying a word. My white hospital gown almost got soaked, but I didn't mind it too much. It felt rather nice.

'Why did you do that?' I heard Tyson sobbing. 'Why? Why didn't you tell us you were depressed? We could have helped you.'

There was so much despair in his voice. I didn't quite know how to deal with it.

'Hello son, I'm glad you are okay now.' I heard my dad say, in his emotionless, polite voice. He didn't sound sincere at all. His words came out rather forced. I looked past Tyson's head and saw my father and grandfather stand around my bed. My Dad's words might have not been sincere, but his facial expression certainly was. He bit his lip and the look in his eyes was bitter and slightly lost, as if he couldn't yet comprehend what had happened. Suddenly I felt the guilt creeping up on me. I had committed suicide, and the reason for it was so abstract, they would never be able to understand.

'You were so lucky that Kai-kid brought you to the hospital on time. But why were you staying at his place anyways, didn't you say you would come home right after your plane would land?'

So Kai had lived up to his promise. I felt deep gratefulness to him in that moment.

'Where is he?' I asked. I wanted to thank him.

Suddenly Tyson started sobbing uncontrollably. Grandfather gently put his arm around him and allowed Tyson to cry against his chest.

'This might be heavy news for you Hiro, especially considering the state of you at the moment, but I feel you should know.' Gramps said in a serious tone. 'Kai is dead.'

'Dead?' I yelled in disbelief.

Gramps nodded. 'Yes, he brought you here, we exchanged a couple of words with him, thanking him for saving you. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and he didn't come back. Another patient found him in the bathroom, he had cut his wrists. It was too late, the doctors couldn't do anything to save him.'

I felt nauseous instantly and I think I might have vomited on my Dad's fancy clothes. But I didn't care. He should have been found!

'He should have been found!' I yelled. 'He should have been found, he should have been found he should have been found…'

Apparently I wouldn't stop yelling, the nurses had to tranquilize me. I only remember having been very upset. That's all I can recall.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Kai's Death Notice was printed in the newspaper three days later. It read:

_We bitterly mourn the death of our dear son, friend and colleague_

_Kai Hiwatari_

_(15.06.1989 - 01.01.2010)_

_May he rest in peace._

He was only 21 years old. It was sickening. A couple of cemeteries refused to burry him, because he was a suicide case. That was even more sickening. I felt it was murder. He was supposed to have been found. Within minutes! Don't tell me people didn't use the bathroom for the entirety of the 20 minutes it took him to bleed to death! And I was right about that, nurses had confirmed to me that there had been multiple patients walking in and out of that specific bathroom within that specific interval. Which meant most people hadn't cared. I felt guilty too, of course. I felt it was me and my action that had encouraged him to snuff it in the first place. Kai had saved my life. And with his death I felt it was my duty to make it worthwhile. So that he didn't die for nothing. Attempted suicide didn't help me with my depression, it had been a silly idea. I decided to go on Prozac. So far, I had refused to do so, claiming I wouldn't want to take anything that would mess with my mind. However, I felt I owned it up to Kai. I went to see a therapist too. I searched for a job, tried to get into dating, volunteered to train the Beyblade beginners at the local sports club etc. I did my best to get back into life and to try to enjoy it. I felt obligated. And it worked. The pain got less, and after a year or so, I even stopped thinking about the fact that I had not only killed myself but also Kai. Who would've ever guessed that Kai's life would ever serve to save mine. Maybe that's what we got for playing with death, maybe we had it coming for us. Maybe we simply were bad people, for wanting to kill everyone.


End file.
